Pondering the Meaning of a Miscarriage...

I was very sad on Saturday recovering from and trying to process my miscarriage that had begun the previous Wednesday night (the day before my first prenatal appointment) of which most of the bleeding took place all day Thursday.  It didn't hit me very much emotionally until Friday and Saturday.  Since this is our fourth miscarriage we are usually somewhat guarded with each new pregnancy.  With this one, maybe because it had been a while since the last ones, we let our guard down and dared to have high hopes for a new baby in our arms due December 4th.  But it was not to be with this one. 

I guess part of what I am trying to process is the fact that the baby just stopped developing very early on (as was gleaned from the ultrasound and had been the case with earlier miscarriages) and yet is infused with a soul from the moment of conception.  I'm really trying to wrap my brain around the idea that the souls of "my" miscarried children are with God and that they know of me and are sentient even though this state eluded them in their earthly existence in my womb.  Their bodies will be raised on the last day, when in this world (if they only lived to be a few days old), their bodies may have been recognised as "only" a few cells--something not resembling a body at all. 

I have been meditating on this while praying the First Joyful Mystery, the Annunciation, on the Rosary and I am very much comforted by the fact that the church considers that Christ became "The Word Made Flesh" from the moment of his conception in the Virgin's womb when the Holy Spirit overshadowed her. In fact, in the old Tridentine Mass we genuflect when this is stated in the Creed:

and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the Virgin Mary: and was made man.

or the translation said more often at Norvus Ordo, where we bow when it is said:

He was conceived of the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary and became man.

More food for Thought

After writing the above I did a little bit of research about when the church says ensoulement takes place.  Here is a link to something I found and the specific quote from the article. 

http://www.firstthings.com/onthesquare/2011/03/bone-setting-the-faith-needs-the-wrap-of-reason

When does ensoulment take place? While it is infallibly taught that
taking the life of an unborn child is gravely immoral from the moment
of conception, that teaching is NOT based on any theory of ensoulment.
Most theologians today would say that ensoulment happens at
conception, or very soon after. (That is my view also.) But that was
not the view of some great medieval theologians who were influenced
by Aristotle. The Church does not have an authoritative teaching on this.